I thought today's blog would be on anxiety, its a really common thing but not that known about or explored by people. Also it can be really hard for friends and family to understand/ cope with as they don't know how your feeling. To them it's irrational, to the person with the anxiety it's your trapped normality...What is anxiety?
I'm not gonna say a big fancy medical term of what anxiety is,instead i'm going to tell you from my personal experience. There's so many different sorts of anxiety, it can be the terror of a spider being in your room or getting really anxious over an exam. Mine is going out, seeing people or should i say people seeing me... To me anxiety is a world of feelings all be; terrible!You feel scared, nervous, terrified, worried, afraid and shockingly alone. All those over whelming feelings and thoughts can lead to panic attacks; hyperventilating, shaking ("legs like jelly" is the literal feeling but not just your legs but everywhere!), stabbing pains in your head, feeling like your going to collapse and feeling like you can't breathe and even being/feeling temporarily paralysed. - That is the very worse one when you work your body into such a state that it just literally freezes...
What anxiety leads to?
When you have anxiety you feel like you need to get out of the situation straight away. This then leads to you avoiding the situation and that can lead to a pretty vicious circle... You associate situations with panic and feeling "unsafe" so what do you do when your scared... panic and run. Anxiety can also lead to OCD, wanting everything in order and no germs. It's like a triple edged sword...I remember when i was kid i was so afraid of dogs that i would literally go in the middle of the road to avoid them! Obviously over the years and a few near "accidents" it eased. This only really happened when my friend got a dog as a puppy, i became used to it and kinda fond of it. ;) It took time but this even led to me wanting my own dog which i now have; my "baby" Alfie. ;)
How does anxiety start?
Well a bad experience can start it, e.g. when i was a baby i remember the dog from across the road come running into our house and jumped up at me, it was a big dog and i was a little baby so it kinda terrified me. So that's where i think that started... Or anxiety can start from becoming unfamiliar with situations. Take me i missed 3 and half years of school and interaction with people. Being ill meant i couldn't/ can't go out that much and so you get into a cycle of being reclused from the world outside, and home being the "safe place." You get so used to being in your own company and only interacting with family and friends that everything is feels daunting.
How to kick the anxieties butt?
This one isn't so easy... i've not cracked the code on that one yet. There's some things to make it easier to manage like; breathing techniques and breaking up scenarios into little sections so everything doesn't seem so big. Familiarize yourself again so going on little trips little and often. Obviously with anxiety you tend to want to avoid the situation because you know when you go there, the feelings and thoughts you get and assume the worst. So often family and friends have to give you a little encouragement but it's also knowing your limits and what YOU feel comfortable with. I mean some people just assume that you should be able to snap out of it or to really push you out of your comfort zone and then you will be fine. Anxiety doesn't work like that if there was a stern word i could say to myself to make seeing people easier , i would of done it by now! I know you have to push yourself a little even though i hate to admit it but to me i find every "normal" outdoor trip, me pushing it. For many people it's not a big thing but to me and the person feeling anxiety its HUGE. It's a tough one breaking the cycle and on days i wonder if i ever will but i have supportive friends and family and whole lot of dreams i want to fullfill. :)
Anyone who has anxiety that stops them doing things will know that it feels like a trap, your own little jail in your head. There's so many things you want to do but don't want too no can't do because you feel too scared to and for me the fear of people looking at me and seeing me over rules my want too. E.g this example could be used for the M.e and anxiety... imagine having zilch energy and trying to climb a mountain every step feels a mammoth task and any progress you make can drop you back to the bottom when the wind comes and knocks you for 6! And when you have illness it makes a double whammey!! It makes it easier to get out of the "life loop" and not have the energy to bother. 
Family and friends who have to cope with your anxiety also have the battle, they remember what you were like before, they can do everyday normal things without to much thought so anxiety can become an alien concept. They have to get used to listening to you and manoeuvring you out of situations your uncomfortable with. Knowing when to push you and knowing when to stand back. It affects their life to because you can't do all the things they want and seeing you so distressed is distressing for them! It's a real learning curve, but the best advice i can give is to tell them how your feeling. I don't expect my friends and family to understand but more accept that i have limits and i'm trying my best even when it looks like i'm not trying at all...
So yeah anyone with anxiety little steps and you'll get there, :) and i hope i will too. <3
Photo of week:
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| Love this pic of my beautiful wifey!! Looks a right model picture, such a good model for me!! And whilst we are on the anxiety subject, this girl is always around to give me a kick in the butt ;), yet be patient with me. So thankyou! <3 <3 |
Before i go here's a link for my facebook page i've set up to show the jewellery i've been making. You know what to do... CLICK THE LINK! ;) - http://www.facebook.com/Louslazydayzjewellery
Bye for now,
love Becca
xox
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